Monday, March 24, 2014

Pretty Reckless by Jodi Linton

I am honored to introduce debut author and fellow Belcastro Agency pal, Jodi Linton. Today is the release day for her brand new book, which I can't wait to read (stupid amazon made me wait till midnight until it would download) titled, Pretty Reckless.

Romance,laughter and cowboys, what's not to love?

Thank you to Jodi for guesting!

Pretty Reckless by Jodi Linton

Welcome to Pistol Rock, Texas where everyone knows secrets last about as long as the sporadic west Texas rain showers.

Laney Briggs has long been considered reckless, but she’s turned herself around—she’s respectably engaged and she’s become a Pistol Rock deputy sheriff. Everything’s fine until a dead body turns up and her ex, Texas Ranger Gunner Wilson, decides to stick his boots into the town’s first murder case.

Laney will be damned if she lets Gunner trample all over her turf and her chance at a quiet, contented life. His seemingly endless ability to undermine her resolve and her libido was only outdone by her constant urge to butt heads with him. But when the bodies start to pile up, Laney has to ask the lethal bad boy for a hand—and a truce in exchange for his help.

Having an ex-boyfriend as an ally might not be the best idea, but Laney has always been pretty reckless…

Author bio: 

Jodi Linton lives and works in Texas, with her husband and two kids. She can be found cozied up to the computer escaping into a quirky world of tall tales, sexy, tight jean wearing cowboys, and a
protagonist with a sharp-tongue quick enough to hang any man out to dry.  PRETTY RECKLESS is her first novel. She is currently at work on her next Deputy Laney Briggs book.


Visit Jodi's Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Website ~ Goodreads ~ Tumblr

Monday, March 17, 2014

Fuck Me...

Sorry that I'vebeen such a slacker lately and haven't posted.

Not that anyone noticed, but still.

In my defense I've been really busy. I started a new job (not begging on the street corner as the picture might imply) on March 3rd. I'm enjoying it immensely. Not because the work is particularly exciting. Nope, it's strictly because I NEED to work on something other than being an author in order to be any good at being an author.

I need structure. I need mindless worker beeism.

It helps me be creative.

After a couple months of not writing a damn thing, I'm suddenly back in the saddle. I've written over 5k just this weekend.

Good thing too since I have a August 1st deadline for the second fairy tale mystery book for Kensington. Which leaves me with just over 2 months to write another 65-75k words.

Hence the FUCK ME part of the post.

To top it off, the publisher of my romance novel asked if I'd be interested in signing up for another book for an Assassin's Series. Hell yes. But where to find the time?

Maybe if I didn't have a job...

FUCK ME....

So tell me how you deal with deadlines and getting work done when feeling the pressure?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Goodreads Giveaway

Goodreads Book Giveaway

        The Assassin's Heart by J.A. Kazimer
   


          The Assassin's Heart


          by J.A. Kazimer


         
    Giveaway ends May 01, 2014.
        
         
            See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

      Enter to win

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

More Signs You Need Better Friends

Sometime ago, (don't ask how long, it's not like I follow this blog...) I wrote about the top 5 signs that you need new friends. The reasons varied, and honestly, just click the link and you can see them for yourself, so I won't recap, mostly because I'm lazy.

Which brings me to the first sign.

1) Your friends are fucking lazy like the blogger you are currently reading. They don't even try anymore. They used to put on a little lipstick (yes, I'm talking about you, Dave), dress up some when you'd go out. 

2)  When was the last time they asked about you? Really asked how you are doing? And better yet, listened to what you had to say. You are awesome. Why can't they see that? The selfish pricks. Maybe it's time to listen to the voices, and shove them into the wood chipper...

3)  Recreational pot is now legal. What do you need them for anymore?

4)  They refuse your collect calls from jail.

5)  They have children in the 3 - 10 year old range, and recently asked what you're doing next Saturday night.

6) You paid for the last three lunch/dinners/prostitutes. 

7)  They just finished a manuscript and are looking for a beta reader. Oh, BTW, I just finished a manuscript, and, if you're interested....

Any to add my much better friends?

Monday, January 27, 2014

Top 5 Writers Workshop I Want to See

I spent a good portion of my day filling out various workshop proposals for different conferences. Oddly enough, I do enjoy teaching (though I say teaching, I mean hanging out with fellow writers and learning with and from them). But after a while, workshops get old. Too many focus on the same thing time and again. I can almost predict what a conference will have in store: 1) an e-publishing primer 2) social media marketing 3) some sort of police procedural workshop or sword play 4) how to query/pitch.

I want a few outside the box workshops, so conference coordinators, listen up.

Top 5 Writers Workshop I Want to See

5)  Top Ways to Fuck Yourself in this Industry, and Still Get a Book Deal - Taught by James Frey.

4)  How to Get Readers without Offering Sexual Favors - Is twitter really the best place for your dick pic?

3)  Effective Use of a Ball Gag - A Tutorial Presented by E.L. James and Nicolas Sparks. We all know who we wanted spanked in this scenario.

2)  Alienate Everyone By Being an Arrogant Prick- Yes, you guessed it, once again hosted by Nicolas Sparks.

1)  Who Do I Have to Fuck for a Royalty Payment? - A guide to understand that royalty statement. I didn't know publishers still used hieroglyphics...

Any workshops you'd like to see?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Top 5 Reasons to Go Back to School at 40

Last week I wrote a rather whiny post about my return to school at the age of 40 (if I was 40, which I'm totally not. Stupid DMV just thinks so). Today's post is all about the top 5 reasons you should head back to school at 40.

Top 5 Reasons to Go Back to School at 40

5)  You no longer are distracted by that cute football player in your history class (at least I hope not, he's jail-bait, you sicko.) * After leaving school the first time, I ended up meeting the football player at the bar I worked in, and we dated for awhile. Trust me when I say, the cute football player got a C- at best in anatomy.

4)  You can buy beer, legally, anytime you want. Fuck those kids with their fake IDs. 

3)  Research shows that thinking actually stops you from growing mushy gray matter inside that thing attached to your neck, the thing with the hard coating...What is that called again?

2)  With the exception of math, all the classes are easier as an adult. Mostly because you've learned how to bullshit your way through anything, except math. Hard to convince anyone 2 + 2 = 16. Unless you're talking to a writer. We regularly fall for that shit. Just ask a publisher or agent.

1)  Other students think you're the professor, so feel free to ask them for bribes in the form of money or sexual favors. Remember, it's only wrong if you are a faculty member.

*Note to (school who shall remain nameless for fear they will sue me for breach of shut-the-fuck-up-contract I signed in order to gain a severance package), it is WRONG to allow a faculty member to sleep with a student, even if you don't have an actual clause that says that very thing in the year 2012. Just because it's not necessarily illegal, you can fire sick-fucks because it's immoral as hell.

Any reasons to add? If you've gone back to school, what parts are you enjoying the most?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Top 5 Things I Would Do If Tomorrow was My Last Day on Earth

Weird post, I know, but a facebook friend, one of my hippie zen ones, recently asked this question. Which, of course, turned into a bunch of garbage about love, selflessness, and a sad lack of alcohol, drugs or sex.

Now in her defense, she was likely looking for the uplifting and a deeper understanding and connection with humanity.

All bullshit, especially if the world was ending tomorrow.

Humans are not the best humanists. Don't believe me? Here's a look at the top 5 things I would be doing if the world ended tomorrow:

5) Jensen Ackles - Yes, Dean from Supernatural, would be my sexual bitch.

4)  My second stop would be 7/11 for numerous cartons of cigarettes. I'd sure as hell make up for the last 15 years of wanting a cigarette. For the next 24 hours I would be a fucking chimney, even while banging poor Jensen.

3)  I'd probably do this next thing as fast as I could so I could get on with the fun stuff. But, even as this isn't a fun job, it needs to be done. Clean out the top drawer of my nightstand. Now, I'm not saying what lurks in this drawer, just that, I wouldn't want the cockroaches, who will be the only living thing to survive whatever has killed us all, to open said drawer in it's current state.

2)  Now most might consider getting totally drunk and/or high at this point. I'm not saying a small buzz would be out of the question, but I need a clear head for this next part. Which is getting revenge on anyone who ever wronged me. I have a list. It's written on a yellow legal pad I keep in the top drawer of my nightstand next to.... So you better lookout _______, ________, ________, and _______. Yeah, you know there are far more names on the list than 4. I had 4 names by the time I hit 2 years old.

1)  Wrap myself in bubble wrap. Not because I think it will save my life, but because I really like the feel of bubble wrap and think of all the fun I would have popping the rest of my life away.

Okay, what's your top 5? Or even top 1. What would you do if tomorrow was the end?