I spent a good portion of my day filling out various workshop proposals for different conferences. Oddly enough, I do enjoy teaching (though I say teaching, I mean hanging out with fellow writers and learning with and from them). But after a while, workshops get old. Too many focus on the same thing time and again. I can almost predict what a conference will have in store: 1) an e-publishing primer 2) social media marketing 3) some sort of police procedural workshop or sword play 4) how to query/pitch.
I want a few outside the box workshops, so conference coordinators, listen up.
Top 5 Writers Workshop I Want to See
5) Top Ways to Fuck Yourself in this Industry, and Still Get a Book Deal - Taught by James Frey.
4) How to Get Readers without Offering Sexual Favors - Is twitter really the best place for your dick pic?
3) Effective Use of a Ball Gag - A Tutorial Presented by E.L. James and Nicolas Sparks. We all know who we wanted spanked in this scenario.
2) Alienate Everyone By Being an Arrogant Prick- Yes, you guessed it, once again hosted by Nicolas Sparks.
1) Who Do I Have to Fuck for a Royalty Payment? - A guide to understand that royalty statement. I didn't know publishers still used hieroglyphics...
Any workshops you'd like to see?