Monday, January 27, 2014

Top 5 Writers Workshop I Want to See

I spent a good portion of my day filling out various workshop proposals for different conferences. Oddly enough, I do enjoy teaching (though I say teaching, I mean hanging out with fellow writers and learning with and from them). But after a while, workshops get old. Too many focus on the same thing time and again. I can almost predict what a conference will have in store: 1) an e-publishing primer 2) social media marketing 3) some sort of police procedural workshop or sword play 4) how to query/pitch.

I want a few outside the box workshops, so conference coordinators, listen up.

Top 5 Writers Workshop I Want to See

5)  Top Ways to Fuck Yourself in this Industry, and Still Get a Book Deal - Taught by James Frey.

4)  How to Get Readers without Offering Sexual Favors - Is twitter really the best place for your dick pic?

3)  Effective Use of a Ball Gag - A Tutorial Presented by E.L. James and Nicolas Sparks. We all know who we wanted spanked in this scenario.

2)  Alienate Everyone By Being an Arrogant Prick- Yes, you guessed it, once again hosted by Nicolas Sparks.

1)  Who Do I Have to Fuck for a Royalty Payment? - A guide to understand that royalty statement. I didn't know publishers still used hieroglyphics...

Any workshops you'd like to see?

6 comments:

  1. All I can do when I read this is yawn. Sooo typical. Why can't conferences just think outside and the box and try something different? Like maybe "How to make your characters shine!" I've never seen that before. Or maybe something with a clever title like, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but the kicker is that you actually DO judge a book by its cover. Now THAT'S something I've never seen at a conference, ever!

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  2. PPWC 2014 actual title: People DO Judge a Book by its Cover.

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    1. MB, it's going to be a great conference.

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  3. Me too. I judge books by their covers all the time.

    Julie, I think #5 is for sure a winner. Presenter could talk about effective (and public) responses to bad behavior by agents and editors as well as fighting back against bad reviews. :D

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    1. It would be a good one. I'd like to know what agents and editors think is bad behavior and what they let pass.

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