Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Top 5 Ways to Deal with Rejection

I get rejected. A lot. Still in fact, even though I've had an agent for 5 years, and will have my 6th book traditionally published in March. My rejections don't just include those from editors, but from readers, reporters, other writers, conferences, that guy at the mall, my cat...

It can be too much at times.

So what is a girl with an already warped sense of self and the world to do?

Here are my top 5 ways to deal with constant rejection:

5) Punch those rejecting you. It will only hurt them for a minute, and give you satisfaction for years.

4)  Write a blog post about how to deal with rejection, making sure to say asshole things like, It's part of life, and the job of a writer. You need thicker skin. Fuck that. I need better friends.

3)  Write a snarky blog post about how to deal with rejection in a totally passive/aggressive way.

2) Whiskey.

1)  Act like a grown up, and face your rejection. Since there's no fun in that, I suggest acting like five year old and calling those who've wronged me a BIG POOPY HEAD! Yes, I'm talking about you , _______.

Any other ways you handle rejection?

12 comments:

  1. Allow all that rejection to spin, like a violent internal tornado that lacerates every one of your internal organs.

    On second thought, that might not be that healthy either.

    *shuffles through the piles of rejection slips littering my desk* Where DID I put that therapist's number?!?

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    1. Maybe you could share that number with the group?

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  2. Typically, I read blogs like this and in the blink of an eye (maybe not mine) I instantly feel better. Or #2, which ever is most handy.

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    1. #2 is a particular favorite of mine. It goes well with everything, including when you run out of vodka.

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  3. BIG POOPY HEAD sounds about right...with a jigger of whiskey...

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    1. 5 year olds really do have the best vocabulary after you drink that jigger or seven.

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  4. Ooh, ooh! This gives me a great idea for a product! we need a way to print pictures and text onto toilet paper, like a specialized printer. that way, when you get a rejection letter, you can print it onto the toilet paper and the next time you have to take a dump . . . well, I'd imagine it will be very cathartic afterwards.

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    1. Love the idea, but I worry about how it would effect my ass' self-esteem.

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  5. May I substitute vodka for whiskey? I had a bad whiskey episode when I was 14.

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    1. I suppose, but the coolness factor is right out. Clear liquor is suspect.

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  6. I'm a big fan of denial. "I'm an amazing writer and everything I write is gold, so surely the agent/editor was suffering a stroke when they read this. Either that or they just have horrible taste. If anything, I should be thanking them for passing on me since they are clearly brain damaged mouthbreathers."

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    1. I to love the denial. But you are right. Every word you write is like a golden shower raining down on those less deserving.

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