I know. I know. You'll try to convince me that the Internet does not hate me. You'll come up with plenty of plausible explanations for the Internets sly insults and missing emails. Oh go ahead. Tell me about slow servers and Trojan virus, about ISP numbers and how msn really does think I'm cool. But I know the truth.
The Internet hates me.
Why else does it keep stealing my emails and badmouthing me on google? Why else would I, know matter how hard I try, not get the appeal of twitter? After all, I'm a huge fan of swallow 140 character conversations. Oh, I might mean dates...
What's that you say?
I'm absolutely right. The Internet does hate me? I knew it.
Well ain't that an Inconvenient Truth.
That damn Al Gore. He has had it in for me for years. Mostly because I don't recycle, but it could've had something to do with those naked pictures I sent of him and that masseuse to good-old Tipper.
Can emails really go missing? That worries me. Kind of like a missing sock from the laundry.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay; it hates me, too. We should go on a vendetta against the internet, Boondock Saints-style.
ReplyDeleteI signed up for Twitter last week after being convinced it was vital for a writer and I just sort of look at it and do the slow blink. Blink-blink, drooooool, blink-blink.