Here's a list of rules for those indie authors of ebooks:
1) If you don't own or read on an ebook reader you cannot e-publish. The same holds true for people allergic to paper. If a book gives you hives, you cannot write one.
2) Quit blathering on about your reviews. So you have 10 of them. We all know you paid your friends and family to write nice things about your book. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I'm glad your friends and family like you enough to write a review. Not that they have EVER actually read your book otherwise they might take exception to your veiled references to the time the two of you got drunk in your dorm room in college.
3) Don't lie to me about how much money you make a month in sales. Guess what? I can find out at novelrank.com. Besides ebooks sales are much like asking a guy in his twenties how many women he's slept with. So here's my ebook sales confession: I make roughly $50 a month in sales off two short story collections. Let's try for a little honest in this new publishing formula.
4) Stopping bragging about being an 'indie' author. Yes, you have ebooks out in the world, and yes, that legitimatizes you as a writer. Sort of. But that pedophile in Pueblo had an ebook out too.
If you want to brag, make sure your book is worth bragging about. Let's face it, most indie authors are choosing e-publishing because they've been rejected at major publishers or they can't get an agent. That doesn't make you hip for thumbing your nose at traditional publishing.
Okay, that's enough for now. Thought? Comments? Hateful rants?
Indie publishing is so mainstream. I'm going to work with a small press that's so out there you've probably never heard of them. Most people haven't. *puts on sunglasses, pulls up hoodie*
ReplyDeleteTee hee. That's why you are so hip that you need to wear shades.
ReplyDeleteI think you just crushed my million dollar e-dreams.
ReplyDeleteAh, but you only need to sell half a million copies for your dreams to come true. Should be easy enough.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the refreshing snaps about e-publishing. I wish everyone would just calm down and look at it with a clear head. There are a lot of options for writers right now, but all of them include hard work, tireless self-promotion and writing a damn good novel. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris, great point. Uploading an ebook is teh easiest part of the process. Good for people to remember that.
ReplyDeleteI totally defy rule #1. I can't afford a Kindle (or Kindle books). And it's nice to make profits from sales of the Kindle versions of my books. And I have a sweet setup with my publisher where I retain all digital rights.
ReplyDeleteBut am I an "indie" author since it seems to be the new phrase for a self-published author? Although I guess the Kindle versions of my books are self-published while the print versions aren't.
i make enough per day, on average, to buy a cup of tea in a very cheap establishment. make that every 2 days.
ReplyDeleteit's great to get fab reviews you have no idea of where they came from, isn't it.
Nigel, fab reviews rock. Absolutely. I hope you'll be able to buy a cookie with your tea very soon!
ReplyDelete